Here we go.
Just what I needed. Transparency is always good for the heart and soul and this time is no different.
I feel like the tiniest thread of an umbilical cord has finally been snipped and I’ve been set free to float away into the Universe. Left to my own devices and wandering, wondering, pondering, sauntering…
Let me be free.
Leave me alone.
This is the way it has always been and will always be.
I’m not new here.
This is my home.
I live here alone.
People come and go and I converse when they stop, but they always go on without me.
This is how the great poets thrive.
This is how the classic writers bleed their souls into the page.
This is where the best musicians harmonize to their heart’s content.
This is where the colors beckon the artist and paint explores the canvas.
This is where I belong.
Unhinged in my dignity.
Closed off from the facade and opened up to the divine.
My lips are coffee flavored.
And no one is invited to prove or disprove this fact.
I can’t rightly say that I will be this way forever.
I would absolutely like to.
But then life would toss unwelcomed irony into my face and I’d have my belly full.
Consumption of my own words would surely fatten me up until my eyes glazed over and as soon as I forgot what it’s like to be jaded, life would remind me.
I have found comfort in my jaded heart.
I am thankful for it.
Without the stitches, bruises, staples and scars I would never take the time to be on my own and pick up the pieces. As I pick them up, I examine each shard and admire the shape and beauty that has caused it to be this way. Even if a shard or two pricks my fingertips now and again, it’s fine.
I watch the blood trickle out and down and know that I exist here and now.
I am reminded that I do have the capacity to feel.
Good or bad, only thinking makes it so, but I feel.
And that is how I know that I am alive.
Not just existing in a shell of a body in a world of chaos and confusion.
Music gives me goosebumps.
Stories I read make me cry.
Creative art alters my perception, world view, mindset, everything thought I’d come to know.
I relish in my ignorance.
I love finding out that I didn’t really know.
I love discovering how naive I really truly am compared to all there is to experience and learn in this existence.
All I can do is sit in silence and smile.
All I can know is that I will never truly know.
All I can feel is everything that comes and nothing set in stone.
Que Sera Sera.